Electro Gaz

2003-11-06T03:21:00.000-08:00

REPHLEX RECORDS
Just thought id all let you know that rephlex records are having a UK tour throughout November. They are at the custard factory this weekend in birmingham which is the date closest to me. Unfortunately its my mates birthday party this weekend so I wont beable to attend but if you can get there it will be one hell of a gig. For those of you who don’t know rephlex is aphex twins record label, and if you have heard any aphex twin your gonna know that Saturday night will be something very experimental and off the wall. Ive recently got into this sort of stuff and im loving it, its so different its normally placed into the dance music genre under ELECTRONICA but I think sometimes it deserves to be a genre all by itself. If your interested in getting a taste you can by a sample cd at the WARP RECORDS web site (the link is in the links column). If your reading this and your not close to birmingham ive listed the dates below and if you do go tell me how it was!

6th November. Glasgow. Transmission
Henry Wood Hall, 73 Claremont Street
Tickets: £5 , Guest DJ - DJ Smojphace
Website: www.glasshousetransmission.com

7th November. Edinburgh. Transmission
Bongo Club @ Moray House
Tickets: £5 Website: www.glasshousetransmission.com

8th November. Birmingham. capsule
8.30pm - 2.00am @ medicine bar . custrad factory . Birmingham
tickets: £5 (no advance tickets)
Info: 0121 693 6333 Website: www.capsule.org.uk

9th November. Nottingham. Deselect
Moog Bar, Newdigate Street Radford
Tickets: £6 on the door Website: www.moogbar.co.uk

11th November. London. Lumin
Neighbourhood, west london.
The London Show is a launch for a rephlex compilation.
Special guests will include The Bug, Soundmurderer, Cylob and DJ Smojphace.
Tickets £8 Website: www.lumin.org

12th November. Norwich
Slow Magazine presents at
KAFE DA Bedford Street
tickets £5 Website: www.slowmagazine.com

13th November. Bristol. Pedestrian
Thekla, east mud dock, bristol
Tickets: £6 / £5 advance + concessions
Website: www.walkingpeople.net

14th November. Cambridge. Bad Timing
The Boat Race, 170 East Road, Cambridge, CB1 1DB.
Info (01223) 508533
TICKETS: £5 advance/£6 door
LOCAL SUPPORT: Ascoltare (Tripel)
Website: www.bad-timing.co.uk

15th November. Leicester. Plankton / Auxilec
Sumo Braunstone Gate Leicester
£5 Website: www.deep-water.net

2003-11-03T02:33:00.000-08:00

100 SEXIEST MOMENTS
As a kind of follow up to Matt Duggins blog ive decided to do a kind of pre-vote to the new 100 sexiest moments which is gonna be on TV soon. For those who didn’t see the 100 scariest moments it was advertised afterwards. The pre-vote will be for the top 10 only. Please note that this is not to include pornography and only the moments seen on TV and cinema. Here are mine:

10. that bird getting out of the sea in doctor no
9. When Ginger Spices tit fell out at the Brit Awards.
8. That seen in Monsters Ball where Halle Berre has sex with the guard who had recently flipped the switch on the electric chair that had her husband in it. smooth
7. the scene in hackers where Angelina joe lee runs into the main actors bedroom unzips her top flashing her breasts!!!!!
6. The general appearance of Sharan stone naked in basic instinct.
5. The lesbo scene in American pie 2 with the two women (funnily enough). Mmmmmm
4. the scene in wild things where the main actor gets it on with neve cambell and another attractive lady. I think they poor champers over each other.
3. that scene in cruel intentions where sarah michelle geller kisses that girl . LESBO AHOY!!! (do you see a trend here?)
2. The scene in the fifth element as the ultimate being destined to save the earth is in fact revealed to be a very naked milla jovovich.
1. When that foreign girl nadia gets her kit of in American Pie

Well There ya go.I now expect you all to input your own little list. Rest assured I know pretty much who reads this blog and if you don’t you shall be badgered.

2003-10-28T01:31:00.000-08:00

RATHERGOOD
Just thought I`d make you all aware of a wicked web-site which ive been looking at called rathergood.com. Really original and hilariously funny animation. You may have seen some of their previous work on TV where they animated a bunch of kittens to sing the white stripes. PURE GENIOUS. I ve put the link in the links page go have a look.

2003-10-27T02:36:00.000-08:00

DJ GAZ TEARING UP THE PLACE
Well I suppose I should write a little about Friday night. I arrived at the venue about 8.30 with my professional roadie (death) who had kindly offered his skills to help me set up and carry my bits and pieces which basically consisted of:

2X turntables (Vestax PDX 2000 in white)
1X Numark three channel mixer
1X bag of leads
1X set of head phones
2X bags of records one filled with electro and one filled with breaks

I headed up the stairs only to find the place was rammed to the hilt wall to wall and I could barely get through. I finaly battled my way to the front to set up. The guy who was organising it turns round and says that he has a few problems with underage drinkers. It came apparent that a few underage drinkers had been let in downstairs and ordered a few beers. The infortunate part came about when their parents then came in and busted them! Apparently they caused a big hullabaloo and the bands had to be shut down. BUT….i could carry on for the rest of the night. the reason why I could continue but the band couldn’t was something to do with licensing laws surrounding DJS and bands. Apparently their different. Anyway their I am all set up and very nervous I might add. Not that I should have been to nervous cos once the bands finished all the metal fans left leaving about 10 people (if that) in the room. I started mixing. It was all over the place. Mixed another it was all over the place. What was happening was that the speakers in the room where positioned in such away to give about a quarter of a second delay between what was coming out of my head phones and what was coming out of the speakers this made mixing incredibly difficult and very frustrating. I was finding that I was dropping in tunes that where perfectly in time according to me but as soon as it came ouyt the speakers was all over the place!!!
Still it was an experience. And gave me a taste of mixing at a venue. Next time I shall deffinately get some monitor speakers so theres no chance of any delay or echo. I also want to thank my friends for coming along and supporting me.

THANX EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!

LOVE GAZ XXXX

2003-10-22T03:21:00.000-07:00

SHITTING IT FURTHER
I spent last night doing a bit more practise. I think I`m making too big a deal about this though after all , as my girlfriend pointed out, I`m not an act just there to fill in the silence. I think trying to put together a set will just make me more nervous. I reckon I`m just gonna go with the flow and pick out tunes as I go along. It`ll probably come together that way. It won`t really matter if I fuck up the occasional mix. Also reuban will beable to help me out. IT LL BE FINE!

2003-10-21T03:34:00.000-07:00

THREE DAYS TO GO
Well three days to go before I DJ this Friday for the first time. Last night I worked out the first three tracks for my set. As I discussed before it’s a pain in the arse trying to mix this warp records style music but I seem to be getting there. The beats can be perfectly in time but the tunes are so crazy that you can find that theres just too much going on for it to sound good. Theres no going up to your decks and thinking RIGHT THEN I FEEL LIKE SPINNING THIS TRACK TO START WITH and approaching the whole thing hap hazardly like you could get away doing with breaks or electro clash. You have to sit down and carefully work out what would sound good with what and where your gonna fade it out and where your gonna drop it in. So far here is what I have.

1 PLAID
born droid

2 LUKE VIBERT
Synthax

2 LUKE VIBERT
I love acid

The first track has a really wonderful haunting vocal to start with which then kicks in with this kicking mad beat. The vocal goes on for ages before the beats kick in so I can really see people being drawn into it. Again most of these can be heard on the warp web site if your curious. The link is to the left. I ordered The new LFO album entitled SHEATH. Fingers crossed it should be with me tomorrow. I intend to include the track FREAK on the set somewhere (again I recommend listening to this at the warp web site it is well cool).

2003-10-20T02:05:00.000-07:00

SUPER STAR DJ
Well then here we go. I had a call off this mate of my girlfriends last night to confirm that I was Djing at this charity gig at the apple tree this Friday. I ve agreed to do it but in all honesty am absolutely bricking it. Ive got to DJ between 2 bands and the for an hour and a half after the gigs. Shit I don`t think ive even got enough records to cover that amount of time. Hopefully rueban will beable to share the work load but its not deffinate. Did I mention I`m shitting it ? I think that the order of the week will be hard practise for at least three hours every evening.

2003-10-16T05:56:00.000-07:00

TUNE RECOMENDATIONS
ahhhh it seems that there has been a fair few people going through my web-site now. This please me gladly cos it means I`m not doing this thing for the hell of it and people are actually reading!! Horraaaay for GAZ.
My musical trastes have taken a bit of a change just lately. I`m not sure how many of you are familier with a guy called Aphex Twin. He is famed for doing extremely off the wall dance music. He is under a label called warp records which tends to specialise in bands that do very similar stuff. I`ve a couple of recommendations to make that are all under warp. They are

Plaid : Spokes (released Monday the 30th if you buy it off wapmart you get a free CD)

Luke Virsert : Yoseph

LCD : Sheath (buy it off wapmart and you get a free stencil)

Chris Clark : Empty the bones of you

All these albums have mini sites with thin the warp site so you can listen to a few tracks of each album. Ive already bought YOSEPH and its well cool. The only problem being is that I try and mix the tracks. A lot of this stuff is so abstract and off the wall this proves really difficult to mix. The tracks do lots of unpredictable things which will mean that Ill have to learn these tracks inside out to be able to mix them really well.
To go to the WARP WEBSITE click HERE

2003-10-13T07:50:00.000-07:00

Well im glad you all really enjoyed the last blog it was a classic moment. It’s the sort of story that would need to be brought up at jims wedding reception if he ever got married. “the time when jim pissed all over the kitchen floor then wore a t shirt as a pair of boxer shorts”.
Any way I haven’t been bothered to write anything in my blog for a while simply cos I haven’t really had a massive amount to say. But stuff is happening just lately, and all for the better. All the key areas of my life are going really well.
Last The Friday before last my new flat mate moved in. this is another james but we all call him “death” cos of his height and his white skin and long black hair. Hes a great guy, the only thing which I could see as becoming a difficulty was that I love dance music and death is into death metal. This hasn’t become a problem at all as in fact whenever I play my music its usual y in my room and when he plays his stuff its in the front room. The first night he moved in I thought we`d spend the Friday night in and have a chat. We got a few beers in and got wrecked. Death is really into Kung fu. And I seem to remember at some point deciding that it would be a good idea to hurl deaths Japanese blade knife at jims Jarvis cocker poster. We didn’t though, not for the lack of trying you understand more that the knife hit the lamp shade before getting a chance to be imbedded in cockers forehead. It went some thing along the lines of:

SHALL WE?

NAH MAN WE CANT

(GIGGLE GIGGLE )

YEAH BUT ITLL BE FUNNY WONT IT? IMAGINE IF JIM CAME BACK TO FIND A KNIFE INBEDDED IN JARVIS COCKERS FACE?

(FURTHER GIGGLES COUPLED WITH WAVING SHARP KUNG FU KNIFE AROUND DANGEROUSLY AND IRRESPONSABLY, JARVIS LOOKS WORRIED)

GO ON MAN

(HURL…..THUMP….)

SHIT MAN THE LAMP SHADE GOT IN THE WAY

WE BETTER STOP DOING THIS. I MEAN WE MIGHT DAMAGE SOMETHING.

(FURTHER GIGGLES)

Saturday night I met a lovely young lady called “cheeky”. This is short for a carribean name which Im not even gonna attempt to spell. Rest assured she is very cute and very cool. We have such a great laugh and is great company. Throughout the week I saw the lovely cheeky and also got a pay rise so like I said everything is going well (BIG SMILE ON FACE).
The last weekend has been really cool. Friday I went to see a friend of mine who I haven’t seen in ages. I went along and he had bought this game call “Sydney 2000” which is kind of an updated version of an old game called “Track and Field” . Basically to run fast you bash a load of buttons really fast till you collapse due to the painful cramp in your hand. Still it was great to see him and we had a really good laugh. On the way back from his house was a bit mad. For those of you who dont know I live slap bang in the middle of town. Rich lives just out of the town centre so it was a quick 10min walk to mine. As I stepped out the house though I looked at the clock and noticed that it was 2am. The time for all the clubs to be kicked out. The centre of Worcester when clubs are kicked out is like little bayrout. Id also smoked enough to knock out a large donkey so as soon as I hit town “The Fear” set in. So I stuck my chest out and tried to look as menacing as I could. Which for those who know me will tell you that for me to even border on the side of menacing is a near impossibility. After a few quick detours from approaching gangs of lads I was home safe and sound without sustaining any abuse or bruises.
Saturday night was deaths birthday. We decided to have a bit of a party round at mine. It was really cool and we all had a good laugh although there was a certain battle for the CD player. There was plenty of CD swapping going on from death metal to Breakbeats then back to death metal then so on. I feel a bit bad about this though cos at the end of the day it was deaths birthday so we should really have been playing just his music. I dont think it really pissed him off though. We also kept the 2 moreton place trend of noise pollution going by pissing off the new couple that have moved into the flat below. To be honest I don’t blame them cos as I vaguely remember the PA system was shaking the floor.
On Sunday eli , cheeky me and death all had a lazy day in and nursed our hang overs eat lots of comfort food and watched lots of films.

2003-10-02T04:04:00.000-07:00

PISSING
Sorry I havent done a blog for a while to be brutally honest I couldn’t be fucked. But I have a juicey story of hilarity and drunkenness to tell. One which at first I omitted from the story telling of the weekend before last to save the embaressment of the individual concerned. To get you up to speed we went out to gonzo`s a couple of Saturdays ago got really wrecked and then went back to the flat. We all were up chatting until we all pretty much fell passed out. I walked in on the Sunday morning to find eli saying that at about 5 in the morning a drunken james eastace walked into the kitchen got his willy out and promptly pissed all over the kitched floor. He then leaned on what he thought was a solid object but was in fact a very frail clothes horse. Naturally it collapsed under his weight sending jim crashing down into the pool of urine. He then stood up and stripped off totally with nothing on then off the floor tried to pick up what he thought was a pair of boxer shorts. How wrong was he. It was in fact my favourite akira T-shirt . jim put bothe legs through the arms and then curled up on the sofa. Eli Told ji m that it was probably in his interest to go back into his own room and after a bit of coaxing he did. When I heard of this me and eli went into jims room and had a good hearty laugh at jim lieing in bed still pissed waring a t-shirt as underwear. MY HAT OFF TO YOU SIR YOU ALWAYS DO THINGS IN STYLE.

2003-09-22T02:57:00.000-07:00

WEEKEND
AGGHHH what a relaxing weekend. Didn’t really do anything in all honesty. Nothing lively anyway. Certainly no as eventful as last weekend. Friday I just went over to my mate jules` house and chilled out playing a few video games. He`s got this game called guilty gear X2 which is a 2D fighting game. Basically in a similar 2 dimentional style of the old street fighter games but the difference is the graphics are like a really amazing anime style. The whole game kicks arse and just for the record Jules I kicked yours. OOOO! the glory!!!
Saturday I just went to see my dad in birmingham. We went to the gym and visited Holland and barett where we obtained an array of supplements for my wheight training. We got 24hr slow release extra strong vitamins (which smell vile but no doubt will do me some good), some protein powder and some creatin which I really cant get my head round. I know it makes you go in the gym for longer and harder but I`m not really sure how it does it. Any way all my buddies down the gym use it and apparently it kicks arse. So Im getting it down my neck as we speak. We also had a bit of a wonder round birmingham in general and ogled the fit young black girls. My father (the true ainsley) cooked a lovely meal of steak, onions, cellery and cauliflower also on the side some honey glazed chiken. This is good cos it contains little carbohydrates. Oh! Yes I stepped up a wheight in the gym RESULT!
Sunday I went out with my mum for a cup of coffee and t do a bit of shopping. I went home had a kip and watched Lilo and Stitch. Which is a great little Disney film I really enjoyed it. After that J and eli came over and we watched pitch black which is also I really cool film. And then to bed for more kip I FUCKIN LOVE IT. A nice and relaxing weekend all in all.

2003-09-17T02:19:00.000-07:00

MORNING PEOPLE
It seems that my web-site has finaly updated it self I think there was something wrong with the blogger site cos my rendition of the weekend although posted Monday didn’t arrive till yesterday. Still its there now so no reason to moan. I receved Harlet by felix the house cat in the post this morning. It was only 5 pound including postage and packing cos the HOOJ tunes web site has a bit of a sale on on various items. If you want a copy for yourself CLICK HERE. The track is great so worth a lookeeeee.
Half the office came in today to announce that they have sore throats and colds. WONDERFUL. This means that ill be at deaths door by the weekend. GREAT.

2003-09-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

THE WEEKEND
Its Monday and im feeling screwed. Cant really concentrate on this so If I give up half way through youll have to wait till tomorrow to get the rest. Im sat here breaking out in cold sweats but im not sure if im ill or just in a real state from the weekend. It`s late afternoon and I really cannot wait to get home.

FRIDAY
The weekend on the whole was cool. I had a fairly quiet Friday night to be honest and just opted to go and see my buddy jules. Reuban was also there aswell as Alex. Jules had bought KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC which is a new star wars game for the x box. Essentially although my viewing of it was limited. It s a role playing game here you have to run around training to be a jedi knight. The cool thing is that you don`t have to be good you can be a bastard and turn to the dark side. HOOO HA HA HA HO HA (Devilish laughing). We then watched evil dead 2 and I fell asleep.

SATURDAY
Saturday was great. It was the last day of trading for Andys records (where my flst mate Jim works) which for those who don’t know is or was a small chain of software stores. They have recently gone under so everyone was made redundant. Saturday was heir last day of trading so they all went out. They had all bought assorted wigs to wear out and had graffitied their andys records T Shirts. They also had medallions made out of crap CDs like blur and Daniel beddingfield. We started off in the Cardinals hat which for regular readers of my blog will know is the home of the quirky Austrians and the bar made that took great delight in prickteasing me a couple of weeks ago. It is also home of the bar men who fancy my flat mate jim. The head bar men in anton who is married to a really fit landlady of the pub. What makes things really bizarre is that anton once told me that I was a very pretty boy. Im am convinced that the only reason for the fitness of the two lady barmaids is to lure young men into the clutches of the barmen. I am thinking that there is some sort of dungeon at the bottom of the pub? Not dissimilar from the one used by the family out of the film TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. Call me crazy but that’s my theory.
Anyway the beer in there is the best in Worcester (which could also be part of their plan) so we knecked a few beers with lou and her mate daniell who for some reason later on in the night I challenged to an arm wrestle while displaying to everyone how much improvement had taken place since Id been going to the gym. Back to the plot, we had a few beers then went to meat jim and the andys lot. They were already well oiled son as I walked through the door was offered a cigar the size of a small truncheon. I soon put it out though after a leaf of the tobacco peeled away to display that the tobacco was indeed bound with a glossy magazine. We all got trashed in the swan then headed to our local dive GONZOs. It was an amazing night I was wrecked and danced loads all night. We all had such a great time and everyone was in the right frame of mind. Which helps. I think everyone pretty much passed out when we got back to the flat but all in all I had a great time and am paying for it now. Oh wo is me.

2003-09-11T06:04:00.000-07:00

MARVELOUS
You know I really love the internet. No I really really do. Not in a geeky kind of way but for buying tunes you really cant beat it. I was listening to a compilation this morning and came across a tune called Northern lite – Treat me Better. Wicked track. I noted it down went into work , at lunch time typed it in on the internet. Found a company which stocked it and itll be on my desk tomorrow. LOVE IT. Here`s the link to the record shop CLICK HERE

TIGA VIDEO
Have a look at this video. (click below)

Tiga – Ocean Drive

Yes Yes I know (and have been told) it looks like an advert for a gay porn film but without a doubt it is such a banging track.

2003-09-09T03:09:00.000-07:00

AWASH WITH THE INSANE
Just thought I`d mention the other day I was on the bus and this strange chap got on. He then turned round and addressed the whole bus saying:

All I can say it�s a good job Im a mini version of geoff capes to get through what Ive been through.

And then said with a satisfied and smug look on his face.

Hes the strongest man in the world.

There were various murmurs throughout the bus as people considered this deep and profound statement. Then a little old man piped up and said:

Well, to be honest mate it was atually atlas that was the strongest man in the world, wasn�t it?

The odd chap then said:

Christ mate that`s taking it too far, I can`t carry the whole world on my shoulders.

Then silence.

2003-09-09T02:35:00.000-07:00

LOOKING GOOD BUT LOOSE THE UZI
I watched the first ever Terminator film the other day and I must say that I reckon it is the best. Also what a great example of the atrocity that is 80`s fashion. Theres a great moment when sarah goes into a nightclub to get away from kyle who she thinks is the nutter who`s after her (little does she know it is in fact the bigger and badder arnie baring the subtle difference of 80% more muscle and not to mention a metal bone structure). While In the club the volume of big perm`s and large shoulder pads is extreme aswell as that wonderful number.
YOU GOT ME BURNING!
YOU GOT ME BURNING!
YOU GOT ME BURNING!
(and so on)
There are some ace quotes to be taken from this film. I have this buddy who mixes house music and reckons that the following quote would make a great sample to go over a build up in a dance track:

Listen! And understand! That terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with! It can't be reasoned with! It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!

(if you would like to read more quotes from the film click on the above quote)
I was reading the script the other day. I often do this as I like to look at the differences between the final film and the varions different drafts of a script , sad I know. With the terminator script did you know that the resistence originally intended for two men to be sent back in time to save sarah. As the script tells though unfortunately the second man ,while being sent back through time, got beemed into a metal stair railing and died a painful death , his body fused with the rusty steel. Unfortunate.

2003-09-04T07:12:00.000-07:00

WAHAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!
Da da da d d d da da da Wahaaaaayyyy!
Im feeling on the happy side today for lots of reasons.
My buddy has sent me an e mail to say that the masterpiece that is A L I E N
Is being realeased on the 31st Oct at the cinema. How cool is that gonna be?
Also…..The web site that I mentioned in my previous blog called CHUNKY RECORDS has shown up more great electro tunes which I`ve been unable to get hold of.

ADULT hand to phone
MISS KITTEN AND THE HACKER Stock Exchange

It has been really hard to get my collection together but it seems at last I`m making some head way. What I really want now is SILVER SCREEN SHOWER SCENE by FELIX DA HOUSECAT but that is proving to be a real bitch to get hold of. Any one comes across it leave a message in the comments box to say where and how much.
I was in the gym last night and had pretty much had enough of the ministry of bullshit mainstream shit music they play. Id brought along some super duper cool 2 many DJs CD and the ultra rare Miss. Kitten Muzik magazine mix also mega cool.
I asked the guy behind the desk if I could put it on and he said it was shit and had to cater for the tastes of the rest of the gym. What the fuck!! How can this be the tastes of the rest of the gym (I didn’t say that cos he`s a big Bastard). OOOOOOO!!!!! It makes me so MAD!!!!

2003-09-03T06:42:00.000-07:00

FELIX DA HOUSECAT and ZOOT WOMAN
Bought a great felix da housecat tune yesterday aswell as that zoot woman track I mentioned in a previous blog. The felix track is WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE. Which features Miss Kitten. Ive been looking for it for ages but the curse I have found of late is that I can`t get a lot of the kitten back catalogue stuff. The internet is a great help though. My mate downloaded a Tiga set for me (Spread over three discs!) I was listening to the CD while I was showering Monday morning. Heard the ZOOT women tune, Got on the internet at work. Typed in the title, ordered it and it was on my desk the next day. MAGIC! Back to the felix track. Very good. The royksopp mix is blinding and towards the end of the tune it really has this lovely melodic tune which to me bares the royksopp stamp. With the lovely kitten singing away it really is a stomping track. Well worth buying and if you want it go to chunky records which seems to have a nice little back catalogue. (look left)

AUSTRIAN WOMEN DONT LIKE PORNOGRAPHY
Some would say that I should probably not put this on my blog but fuck it im sick of watering down my postings.
Last Saturday as you know I was getting wrecked with my bros. Back at the flat an austrian lad and bird turned up with us. After various party like goings on. I crashed out and went to bed. Or rather lay on top of my bed fully clothed dribbling.
I havent been asleep for long when this Austrian girl taps me on the shoulder and asks if she can sleep with me that night as there is no room anywhere else in the flat. Just to make sure she wasn’t lieing ,cos after all im not one to be taken advantage of, I took a quick peek into the lounge and sure enough it was true. Now for those that haven’t seen my room there are bare breasted young women on the walls. Also there are various copys of FHM strewn about not to mention the odd alternative magazine that hasn’t been replaced back in its SPECIAL PLACE. A past girl friend wasn’t really bothered about all this I recall that at one point while engaged in a night of love making she wanted me to read from her copy of RAZZLE. Unfortunately I shattered the mood by alternating between a cockny and Yorkshire accent for the male and female voices. Any way this Austrian girl takes a blatent disliking to my posters and the FHM mags in my room. Then Rejects all my advances. To add insult she decided to tease me at regular intervals. Basically what she was doing was leading me on by doing stuff…then when I got all ..err…keen, telling me to clear off. This went on for about an hour. It Hurt.

2003-09-03T02:06:00.000-07:00

JEEZ IM FUCKED
Rode into work this morning and im mullered, although strangely alert. I also took measures to wear my helmet this morning as drivers trying to get to work have no troubles about cutting you up on the way to the office. Unfortunately though cos I`ve got my helmet on my hair looks very similar to the leed singer off the monkeys. My boss is giving me some really dodgy looks though cos I ran out of razors this morning so am baring a striking resemblance to the wobble board master himself rolf harris.

2003-09-02T03:52:00.000-07:00

HTML SHANANAGANS
Egnore all the dodgy HTML code and the poll below I was trying to be too clever with the coding.

2003-09-01T07:09:00.000-07:00

GAZ MONSTERS TUNE TO BUY THIS WEEK

ZOOT WOMEN - Living in a magazine

I know its not a new release but for those who really like electro pop woulll love it.
buy it here

2003-09-01T07:07:00.000-07:00

THE WEEKEND
WOW what a fucking mad Saturday night but like all good stories Ill start from the beginning which is Friday.

Friday Night:
Friday I decided to opt for a quiet one and just go over to see my buddy jules I joined them just as they were watching the final scenes of Legend of the overfiend which for those who arent familier is a japanese animated movie. But this in no pokemon the movie. It involves demons shaggin girls with their tentacles, animated breasts general pervertions all very sick stuff that could only come from the japs. The film itself is a master piece though.
We then just played on a few video games to which jules kicked my arse at (You should have seen his little face) then had a curry and watched The two towers. I fell asleep half way through unfortunately. All was not lost though as I woke just in time for the final battle which is awesome. I also saw a little preview for the 3rd lord of the rings film. I reckon its gonna be mind blowing. Apparently the last battle on it is gonna be massive. To give you an idea of the scale in the battle at helms deep there is about 10000 orks in the new film it will bee about 200 thousand orks. Thatll be out in December.

Saturday:
Day was boring really just went to the gym then watched a film in the afternoon. In the evening we went to the cardinals hat where it was their 1st year anniversary. Because it was their anniversary the lovely land lady was giving everyone their first pint for free! This was great but what was funny was that they gave it to us in a paper cup which for some reason made the beer go down really nice. Perhaps are minds associated it with drinking beer at a festival. The whole time in the pub I was in a really good mood which then spurred me onto actually want to go to Gonzos which for thoses that don`t know is a indy club based in Worcester. I had a really good time and was leglessly drunk. Everyone was on top form that night and when we got back to the flat the madness continued with music being played at ear splitting volume till the early hours (with no complaints from the neighbours oddly enough) I woke up the next morning to find a shopping trollyin the front room. I just went back to bed in the end and stayed there for the rest of the day. In all honesty this isnt a detailed representation of what happened that night but I really dont want to have to name certain people and attach them to certain events.

2003-08-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting laugh with my buddy jim last night prior to watching Ghostbusters. Which has led me to write a little piece in my blog about

80s AMERICAN FILM COMEDY

Weren`t they great? To name but a few:

Trading places
Planes trains and automobiles
Dirty rotten scoundrels
Ghostbusters
Dragnet
Caddyshack
Uncle Buck
And what was that one were dan akroid is out in some wooden hut in the forest and john candy blows the arse of a bear with a shotgun?

80s American comedy films were based around a whole load of predictable jokes. EXAMPLE
In the film Planes, Trains and automobiles Steve martin and john candy , while trying to get home to spend thanks giving with their familys, end up having to spend the night in a motel. Sods law, theres only one bed (boom boom) so bothe have to spend the night on the same mattress. Next morning the camera joins them while candy is kissing and chewing the ear of martin not because he fancys him you understand but cos he thinks that he`s in bed with a women. Next thing you know bothe wake up and jump out of bed making errr noises. Another great one would be in caddy shack when theres a kid sat by the pool eating a giant chocolate bar. OH SHIT HE`S DROPPED IT. In the pool it goes, coupled with the musical score used in the film Jaws. Mass hyteria amounts flaling arms, kids with orange arm bands leaping out with their over sized blow up dolphins. What follows is Murray cleaning the pool. The pools empty and in the corner is the offending supposed turd. Murray picks it up and says to the lady by the side of the pool ITS ALL OK and takes a big bite. The old lady the n passes out. MAGIC
This kind of predictable humour was fantastic. You`ll also find that 80`s comedy will usually have at some point a cheeky flash of female nudity. Who couldn’t forget in the film trading places when Curtis frequently exposes her fun bags. Or in the man with 2 brains steve martin goes off in search for a body for a brain he`s fallen in love with and finds some blonde with big hair who wips here tits out. WONDERFUL.
They`ve all seemed to have disappeared though .Bill Murray the ugly bloke who thought the ladies loved him. John Candy the stereotypical fat git always farting, leering and scratching his arse. Steve Martin the geek who was always getting really wound up and in a fluster. At the end of the day the scripts were bad and he jokes predictable but without a doubt effin good entertainment.

2003-08-29T02:28:00.000-07:00

THE ONE TO BUY

Right then if your into your tunes
GAZ MONSTERS TUNE TO BUY THIS WEEK
DJ Icey feat Jen Lasher – Rain
Banging tune a must for anyone

2003-08-28T06:35:00.000-07:00

WHOPEE ANOTHER BLOG TEMPLATE
Yes I know I`ve changed it again and I know the links look crap but not knowing HTML I`ve got to work this shit out through trail and error.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON AT THE MOVIES WITH GAZ
Thought I’d write a few bits and pieces about some films I’ve seen . This is my first effort at writing film reviews so don’t expect anything to deep.

GHOST DOG
What a crap title. But a very good film. Essentially what it’s about is a black dude who follows the code of the samurai. After a mob member saves his life he is sworn to work for him as a contract killer. Talking only to him via carrier pigeon. As things do something goes wrong but im not going to wreck the story for you. This film is really off the wall and loosely reminded me of LEON. There is also some really nice comic touches in there including ghost dog’s best friend a French talking ice-cream man. Neither of them know what they are saying to each other but always repeat what the other has said like their in tune. Also there are paragraphs, which appear up on screen from a real life book about the ways of the samurai. These are really thought provoking. And for those entire hip-hop lovers out there you should like the sound track.
Gaz`s rating 4/5

BIG NATURAL TITS
Big natural tits for those who haven’t guessed is a pornographic movie involving girls with big breasts. What can I say the title is fairly self explanatory. Some of the girls are really fit but unfortunately the film has its fair share of spotty arsed bitches. There is one scene where a couple of girls (both have big tits) find that But It`s fairly difficult to to criticise pornography cos at the end of the day I’m sure there’s some characters out there that have some sort of spotty arse fetish. I was reading the porno reviews in bizarre magazine and there was this film they were commenting on called BONG WATER BUTT BABES. Essentially again the title is as it reads. Birds smoking pot through the water which has been put in their arses. Don`t ask me how it`s done and for fucks sake if you do know ,don`t tell me.
Gaz`s rating 2/5

THE GREGG TRIP TO KENYA HOME VIDEO 1992
The first flaw in this film is that it`s about 6hrs long. There has been talk of editing it from the directors cut to something abit more watchable but talk is all there has been.
On the whole is consists of pictures of animals (ie elephants, monkeys, lion`s, baboons, worthog, zebra, cheetah, etc etc) These are vrery pleasurable to watch and without a doubt even more pleasurable when you are there. What makes it even less pleasurable is the good scenes intercut with scenes off massive amounts of foliage and that `s it aswell as scenes of me with spear in hand doing my bessed masai tribes man impression. For those who don’t know the masai ( i think that’s how it`s spelt) they are the tribesman that are in Kenya. Their characteristics are very tall and thin with buck teeth. They are also fantastic jumpers and part of the dances they do is to stand on the spot and jump really high in the air. Right then so theres me. Spear in hand , jumping up and down like a fool. With various passers by, tourist ,locals stopping to point and laugh. Yet still my father kept on filming.
Gaz`s rating –12/10 (that a minus sign before the twelve not just a dash)

2003-08-27T04:43:00.000-07:00

No need to send me the link for STAR WARS KID. I`ve found the link.
This guy is a Fucking god. http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/video/swk.php

2003-08-27T04:31:00.000-07:00

ASTHETICLY APPEALING BLOG
Ans its changed again. The last one was far too drab and I feel that this new skin certainly offers an air of….well….err…blueness.
Well here we are on Wednesday. The mid-week hump. Except in a way it came early cos of bank holiday. Yaaaay.
I told the other day (and many of you may have already seen it) about the exploits of STAR WARS KID. For those of you who don`t know this is a sad individual who basically borrowed the school camera and decided to film himself doing his favourite Darth Maul impression. His school mate`s thought it would be hilarious if they posted it on the web. Subsequently over 2million people have now downloaded it. It has also lots of spin off video`s and re-mixes. I`m dieing to see this so if any one has a link please put it into the comment box. Because this chubby chap has become such a laughing stock he has decided to sue his school mate`s for 140,000 dollars. This is the reason I think why I can`t get hold of it. The editor of the STAR WARS KID web site (which seems to be down) says that the budding sith member should drop the law suit and embrace it as he represents the star wars kid in all of us. Myself I couldn`t agree more after all who hasn`t stood in front of a mirror strumming your mum`s tennis racket singing WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS …..errr….

2003-08-22T07:48:00.000-07:00

EXTREME EXPERIMENTS
I was chatting to one of my colleagues at work this morning all about psychology. (go on laugh) not so much talk but I listened and she spoke. We were chatting all about the amazingly un- ethical experiments which were just after the war. The one that I found particularly amazing was designed by the Americans to prove that only the german folk were capable of such atrocities that happened in the 2 world war. It went as follows.
Man (or women) strapped in a fake electric chair in a room which is devided into 2. On the one side of the devide you have the unlucky chap in the chair and on the other side in the `control room` you have another chap who is a friend or member of the same family as the guy in the chair. Now this is where the fun comes in in the control room you also have another chap who is a figure of authority telling the bloke at the controls to kill the member of family or friend! If the figure of authority was dressed in a suit a certain pervcentage would press the kill button only to have to explain later to their mother in law why they wated them in the ground. A soon as you start adding some variables things change and the percentage of killers goes up. If the guy telling them to kill is dressed in a white coat the percentage goes up, presumably the killers thought “he looked important so he must be right”. If you have a guy in a white suit with a menacing guard on the door the percentage goes up and further still apparently to 60-70% if a guard is on the door and there`s a gun on the wall! I wondered what the percentage would have been if rod and emu had been there with emu mercilessly knawing away at the button pressers head and rod saying “back emu back”

2003-08-20T04:45:00.000-07:00

the last two didnt work now this one i hope will. just click on comment.

2003-08-20T02:38:00.000-07:00

sorry its changed again the last code buggered up. this one is now entitled SHOUT OUT in bold just below the post. click on this to leave your comments

2003-08-20T01:52:00.000-07:00

There is new feature on my blog which gives you the oppurtunty to leave your comments about my postings. it is at the bottom of each and every posting and basically just says CLICK HERE to leave your comments.

2003-08-19T06:59:00.000-07:00

THE WEEKEND
This Friday night I went out with my buddy Ruban and Jules. Ruban is a DJ like me except he has been doing it for a lot longer. Ruban also plays a different set to me , he prefers his funky stuff. I tend to be more in to the electro stuff.
Anyway we started off at the blower. We`ve taken to drinking double black vodka and red bull at the moment cos: a. its cheap and b. it gets you recked quickly.
In our local it`s only £3 quid which ain`t bad at all. After that we went to the local club which is tramps. The trouble with tramps is that (I feel another rant coming on. Sorry to those who have complained) it looks really nice inside and has the potential to be a really nice plush venue but the atmophere is lacking majorly. As some of you will know that the layout and décor of a nightclub does not make it a good one, I remember that I used to go to a club in Birmingham called the Que club. The Que was essentially just a big dingy amphitheatre but the music was amazing and the people in there were brilliant. Those two things alone made the que one of the best nightclub`s I`ve ever been to. You could walk up to someone in the Que club and just start talking to them and within minutes you’d made a friend. Nightclub’s which similarly have the wonderful quality are The escape (Cardiff) the hippo club (Swansea) helter skelter (I was young) dreamscape and loads more. Many a time I`d step out of a nightclub at 6 or 7 in the morning to be greated by harsh ray`s of sun light then spend half an hour saying goodbye to everone b 4 I walked up to the train station or car. What was further more confusing was trying to work out who the hell were all the extra numbers I`d now got in my mobile phone! Everyone in Worcester slags off the local night club`s but to be honest I think it`s just boredom after going to these nightclub`s hundreds of times. I was sat in a pub the other day and spoke to a bunch of lads who had come down from Birmingham to go out in Worcester! I couldn’t believe it but it wasn’t that they had friends or girlfriends in Worcester they genuinely had travelled half an hour just to come out in Worcester. Perhaps to them going down broad st. in Birmingham is just like it is for us going round Worcester on a Saturday night. Perhaps it was the change of atmosphere that they wanted. To be fair it doesn’t matter where you are what it tends to boil down to though is the company you keep in these places as long as your there with good people your gonna have a good time. All those extra things like good DJ`s, fit women, good sound system etc etc etc etc just help. Any way last Friday I went out with ruban and jules and it was shit! (only joking)
I woke up Saturday morning abont 8.30 and couldn’t get back to sleep . Jules had slept over on the couch and ruban had gone home. I went to bed about 4 the previous night and got up after only having 4 hrs sleep. Me and jules then watched a film called cannibal holocaust which I was told to be a really bad film but in all fairness wasn’t as bad as I expected it did however have lots of bad dubbing, penis chopping, bludgeoning (with stones and clubs), decapitations, rape, porn star tashes (which was on the main character who himself was a porn actor) and of course lots of eating of human flesh (hence the title). That evening I felt really tired so went for a couple of beers then a really nice meal, with my mate eli, at a chinese which has opened up that for a 10 pound you can eat all you like. For me a eat all you like restaurant is one of the best things to be built in Worcester in a long time. Mmmmmm ribs mmmmm noodles mmmmm crispy beef in pancakes. MAGIC!
Well there we go then sorry about the weird little characters when ever I do a certain sort of punctuation like this “”””””” can`t understand why there there.
Choi

2003-08-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

MUSIC – My recent vinyl purchases.
Last Friday I bought the remixes on vinyl of that benni bennassi (excuse spelling) track called satisfaction. In all fairness I was a big fan of the original but the remixes blow , in fact not just blow but vaporise the original out of the water. When I bought it the guy at my local record shop said that the electro re-mix would make me want to jump about and spin on my head. I thought it a funny thing to say but he really wasn’t wrong. It starts of with the main sample (steven hawken kickin it on the mike) and then boots you up the arse with this really cool meaty break beat. The 12” is under hussle records. A must have for any collection. Great video aswell if you want to see it go to www.fhm.com and look in the music section then go to the juke box. Caution is advised if you are at work though cos there are images of large breasted girls in bikini`s operating various power tools (mmmm-black and decker).

2003-08-15T03:59:00.000-07:00

MUSIC
Here we go then. A you will all see I have added some more links, so eyes to the left
and you will see them. Bit of music information first of all, yesterday I bought the new Felix da housecat single. To be honest first impressions not the great certainly not as good as his previous tunes which I`m sure any one who is into electro music will tell you are banging. The tune I feel doesn’t really go anywhere and to be fair doesn’t really carry me. The new one is called `Cyberwhore` and is under his new label `Rude Photo`. This can be bought from Ukdancerecords.com the link can be found to the left.
My second purchase was `Nothing is Wrong` FC Kahuna under the label `Skint. Unlike the felix track this is a truly banging party Tune. Love it to bits. This is coupled with some really good mixes. One with a really dirty female orgasmic moaning sample which to me sums up Electroclash to a Tee. Again this can be bought from Ukdancerecords.com . Go get it!

THURSDAY
After work I met my buddy jules down our local pub The Blower. Jules and myself have been buddies for a while. he is older than the rest of us but to fair despite the receding hair line (sorry buddy) is a darn site madder. He posses this wonderful gift so that it doesn’t matter how late he stays up on a work night is still able to function perfectly the next day. When every one else is sat at their desks green faced, there`s jules happily gabbering away on the phone. “Jules I couldn’t do it, I take my hat off to you”
Any way in the blower we were all sat having a few beers. Also in the group was Toby a buddy of mine down from Brighton. For those of you who haven’t been it is great and Jim the lucky bastard will be going down there at the end of September. I went down there last year and it really is a city for young people. Although I was only down there for a few days there`s some really cool places to go out and according to jim and toby a really good music scene. For people who are into Djing aswell or perhaps just love your music there are loads of little independent record shops. No Doubt I`ll eventually follow jim down there next year.
Back in the pub I was sat there drinking my kronenberg. There`s this real fit bar maid that works in there. I asked her out a few weeks ago, at first she agreed but stated to me that she was in the middle of a break up and she was trying to keep the peace. She then said to me “So if I don`t ring or text you don`t get offended cos my boy friend gets really pissed off when I ring or text anyone” Now this spells either two things first of all she`s just blagging me and spinning me a load of bull shit or It`s probably best for me just to stay clear of the situation anyway. As many have pointed out to me in the past, soon as the word BOYFRIEND comes into the situation (and it`s no referring to you) the words AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE are spelt out in even bigger letters. Many have not taken this advise and it tends to always end in tears or blood shed or both.
After going to the pub I went home and sat and listened to my new records, tied to have a mix but lacked concentration due to the beer. For my dinner I had bought this meat on a stick from quicksave. This was dubiously cheap and the fact that what sort of meat it was wasn’t outlined left me further more puzzled. Still I eat it anway and then went to bed.

2003-08-14T08:44:00.000-07:00

Well here we go then. I shall start with what I did yesterday.
As truly buggered as my short term memory is I`ll give it a go. To be honest I`m debating as to ehether or not I` should just start with what I did last weekend and then work along like that. Which means tomorrow you`ll get Monday and so on and so forth. Only Joking.
Right then yesterday (which was Wednesday) . yesterday is of course the mid week hump. (oo-err) when I say hump I mean that once your over Wednesday it`s all down hill to the weekend. I of course had work yesterday then followed by that there was the gym. For those who have read Matt`s blog you may notice that i`ve had this new desire to get fit. It seems that the years of beer and kebab`s has finally taken it`s toll on my youthful physique. Last night I went to the gym straight after work. The reason for this is that the gym isn’t to busy and you tend to avoid the steroid pumped moron`s who seem to congregate at the later hours of the evening. Last night was particularly good cos I spyed a rather fit female in there which I used to work with. This was about 3 yrs ago and we used to sit next to each other and were constantly bollocked by my boss for flirting. In fact the only thing that kept me from asking her out was that she was going out with a lad who was part of a group of rather notoriously vicious drug dealers. Valuing my knee caps I refused her advances. Last night she just looked very sweaty in all fairness but none the less still possessed one of the loveliest bum`s I`ve ever seen. I saw her as I got of the exercise bike I was gonna go and say hello but realised that my false tooth wasnt in , my hair was spread down my face with sweat and my face was red. In a nut shell I looked f****d. Not the time to be chatting up an old flame. Particularly when you look like your about to have a heart attack.
After gym I got home and by buddy eli came over to say hello. We watched the second dirty harry film entitled Magnum Force. It`s old but none the less a great film. As my buddy jim pointed out clint is a man of little words but without a doubt is cool as fuck. He has great pulling tackticks aswell. After a hard days work blowing bad guy`s away with his hand cannon a 4ft. Japanese giel approaches him and says
“what does it take for a women to sleep with you?”
no witty comment is needed from old clint though just the simple words
“well, knock on my door”

2003-08-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

2003-08-13T03:59:00.000-07:00

Well then here we are after inspiration from my buddy matt. i have decided to compile my own blog based upon the action packed, dozen`s of thrills a minute life of Gareth. this is just a wee introduction so expect lots lots more